解離性障害のエピソード/Experiences with Dissociative Disorders(2025.01-06）

U 17 June.

The temperature is 32°C and I'm sweating.

There's no way it's not hot, but for some reason it's clearly ‘Hot!’ Uncomfortable!"" I can't feel it, and I can spend my time in a daze.

I wonder if this insensitivity is also due to my dissociation.

I want to be careful of heat stroke and drink water frequently. 

DR, 3 June

Currently, I am overwhelmed by flashbacks and the anticipatory anxiety that comes with them, and I am confined to my bed.

This is my escape from ending my own life.

DR, 15 May

In the examination room, I laugh when I talk about painful experiences that could be considered traumatic or things that other people have said to me. Perhaps I am deceiving myself by thinking, ‘It's no big deal because it's someone else's problem.’

MI 24 Jan 

Today I was unable to move my body due to extreme stress.

I have now recovered and can walk.

What was this all about?

IT 24 Jan 

I feel like talking about dissociation makes me more likely to dissociate.

BO, May 30.

For a long time, I was thinking that I would throw something important away.

I also thought that I might have made a big mistake and didn't realize it.

I have always thought of them as obsessions, but maybe they are not.

Does anyone with dissociative disorder or complex PTSD have similar thoughts? I don't know what it is. It's hard.

DR. May 19

I went to the kitchen thinking, “I need to wash the dishes I used for lunch and get moving...” and found them neatly washed and face down. (It was the way I usually put them down, probably dissociative amnesia).

I call this phenomenon “the little shoemaker”.

PR feb.17

I've been struggling with a pattern of flashbacks myself lately, and it's exhausting.

But it seems like there are fewer cases where the suffering dissociates and another personality emerges, or that personality takes on an emotional dimension.


Having flashbacks is a real pain for me, but I don't want to separate myself from them. However, I've recently simply wondered why I'm having these symptoms.

DR, Feb.12

It's not happening right now in real life, but my brain is canting and fear signals are being issued all over my body. I can't move. I can't do anything in a dimly lit room with the curtains closed, but time is passing, and I am overcome with impatience, cold sweat, and trembling.

I haven't had such strong symptoms in a long time.

I think this is common for people with flashback symptoms.

MI, Feb.10

My dissociation is hard to explain in two dimensions. It feels like it is divided into layers.

Like alternations at the surface (seconds or hours), alternations at the middle level (days, months), and alternations at the lower level (months, years to years).

DR,Jan.21

 I have a habit of throwing things away in fits and starts when I get sick of living. Things related to my past. (Photos, data, diaries, letters, sometimes medical certificates...) .

I had a situation this morning where I wondered “where did that go?Maybe I threw it away because it fits the criteria for something to be thrown away.... I don't know because I don't remember!

PR, Jan 18.

I was spacing out and suddenly felt as if I was kicked in the hip area from behind with my foot. I wasn't moving at all, but I felt as if I had been blown away. It may be an exaggeration, but I felt as if I had moved! I felt as if my body had been pushed away.